Here and there
I’ve noticed that lots of my friends regularly villify practically every separate thing that I like or love or put my hand to. That’s wierd. Often I find myself thinking thoughts like “I never take this attiude with things *you* like”.
Wednesday night was a great night. Jenny had a going-away dinner. I was late, I went to a communion service at St Peters with the chaplaincy people, and learned quite a bit about prayer which I can’t yet put into words. I didn’t get to the dinner part, but the coffee and sweets part was super. Some of us went to Syn bar afterwards and had a grand wee boogie: “Ladies ladies ladies ladies/I got whatcha need/so tell me whatcha need“.
12 responses to “Here and there”
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This gives me pause for thought. As Ange has noted, ‘put-downs’ are not cool. I think NZers are particularly bad at it.
However. Some forms/styles/ways of gently ribbing someone can and are great ways of affirming a deep friendship. It works so long as both people understand what is going on. But the line is easily crossed.
Maybe the measure of what’s said should be whether it is a blessing to the other person. Inflicting hurt on another because it gets you laughs, while thinking “they should take it”, is not a blessing.
There endeth the sermon ;)
Hmmmm. Do people actually mock all you hold dear? Is this a reflection of your crappy friends? Does this reflect something about the way you expres your enthusiasms? Does it hold a message about the nature and variety of these enthusiasms? Are there just too many jerks posting on your blog? Is a blog a poor way to be serious? Should we all remember the “golden rule”? Do unto others……. this is what ought to be expected in a circle of christian friends so I am sorry you feel picked on. Even if you are not being mocked, you ought not to feel you are. Glad you enjoyed Jen’s farewell, she loved it, loved being reminded of the wider family of which she by grace a member is.
Shalom.
If your friends think what you are doing is not a great idea, then what is wrong with them saying that? I would expect my friends to do the same, especially when I am a confessing member of the Reformed Church and am expected to live a life that reflects that. If my Christian friends confronted me on an issue I can see nothing wrong with my having to defend what I do with scripture and reformed doctrines. Your friends don’t love you any less for these things, do they?
O I didn’t mean on the blog particularly. And I’m not crying myself to sleep each night. More of an observation than a complaint.
i have noticed within the parts of your group of friends that i am familiar with that it seems to be the way they all enjoy interacting: mocking each other when joking and questioning each other in more serious discussions. from the outside it seems like not much fun really.
Not sure what you mean with “questioning each other in more serious discussions”.
I do vilify some things that you write, but not all the things that you write, only where I disagree with you or want to challenge your thinking. I try to use humour as much as possible even when being serious, especially to make serious points, because hopefully you will appreciate that humour if not the point of it. however, this can be misread, so I am sorry if it seems like a put down or anything like that. It is not. I will try to be less confrontational and more encouraging of the good things I see on your blog. I would also not challenge you so forwardly if I didn’t know you so well and you didn’t know me so well. I wouldn’t do so to a complete stranger on their own blog.
I don’t subscribe to the mutual admiration society that is blogging. I rarely see any challenging posts on any blogs especially where challenge is needed. True friends challenge their friends to get closer to the truth, they don’t subsidise error or sit by and do nothing. If you are going to put something forward in a public forum be prepared to discuss it in a public forum.
Good comments John. I appreciate you speaking your mind here and elsewhere. Sharpens. Like I said, I’m not really thinking of blog criticsm. The phrase “mutual admiration society” also popped into my head earlier today.
Likewise, when I question things like “eco-justice” groups, etc. I know you can handle it Matt. However, unlike John, I would criticise strangers on their blogs.
The problem with instance text-based media such as blogs, IM, and e-mail is that they make it too easy to quickly send curt responses that have large scope of misinterpretation, and because they are naturally archived for a time, make it much easier to catalogue wrongs.
As such, one should be very careful about admonishing people in such media, as it is much more like to offend than teach. For an action to truly have a noble intentions, it must go hand in hand with a critical assessment of its likely outcome.
In short: it’s much easier to effectively challenge someone you’re looking them in the eye at the time. That said, we needn’t always choose the easiest path.
Ladies need less stupid patronising lines in songs.
good point Digitaleus